Who are the Stereophonics anyway?
by bec7012
Summary: Clark hears the song 'Superman' by the Stereophonics and isn't sure how to react.


**Who are the Stereophonics anyway?**

Disclaimer: I don't own Smallville. If I did season 5 would not be almost entirely Lana based. Nor do I own the song 'Superman' by the Stereophonics. I'm just using them for my own amusement and to mock Smallville's music choice. Oh I also do not own 'Jimmy Olsen's Blues' by Spin Doctors. Also the explanations in this fic are unlikely to be the real inspiration between the Stereophonics song 'Superman' mostly because in this reality he is a fictional character. I also don't own the Stereophonics. There I think that just about covers it!

A/N: After watching an episode of Smallville where the Stereophonics song Superman played in the background (I forget which episode, it might have been that one where he goes insane due tot hat new form of meteor rock Lana got sent.) I was inspired to write this. Clark freaks out after hearing the song and becomes determined to find out how these people know so much about him. Not to be taken too seriously.

Clark Kent was concerned, in fact he was far more than concerned: he was panic-stricken. He'd been driving home from College to visit his parents when he heard a song that he didn't know come across the radio. This was no uncommon occurrence and he drove on quite happily humming along to it for a while.

_You don't know what it's been like  
Meeting someone like you  
You don't know what it's been like  
Meeting someone like you_

It had been a while since he'd visited his parents: he'd been so caught up in things with Professor Fine over the last couple of weeks he just hadn't had chance. What's more Lana was a very demanding girlfriend: the more time he spent with her the more he began to think that maybe he wasn't in love with her after all. At first everything had been just Hunky Dory: he'd been living the dream but now, he was beginning to think that his pining for Lana Lang should have remained an unrequited love.

_You look like Jesus on a aeroplane  
Ya head's against the window pane  
You got opinions but you ain't got news  
You got good laughs but when it suits you_

It wasn't even as if Lana had changed: she was the same as she'd always been but he was just noticing more and more problems with her. Now they were together the drama between them seemed so unnecessary. Sure, he still hadn't told her his secret so things couldn't be perfect but they weren't even good. She seemed to be trying to create conflict between them. What's more he was beginning to wonder if his inability to tell her his secret was a sign, a sign that he didn't trust and wasn't meant to be with her. Maybe Lana was perfect for Clark Kent but he now knew that there was another side to him, the 'Kal-el' was a part of him whether he liked it or not and, he was beginning to think, that as long as this was true he and Lana were just not meant to be.

_You turn it on like a leaking tap  
And dripping dropping people drop of a hat  
You gotta mouth but you ain't got guts  
That drunken mouth you should keep it shut_

He sighed, as he thought about this. He really felt that he and Lana couldn't be together anymore.

_You don't know what it's been like  
Meeting someone like you  
You don't know what it's been like  
Meeting someone like you_

Clark put his foot down as he allowed himself one last hopeful dream of what his life could be like if he told Lana the truth. He imagined her being as accepting as Chloe, teasing him about it: calling him 'Super Clark' or occasionally 'Superman.' If that happened he felt he could live happily ever after, but he couldn't help feeling that it wouldn't: that she'd be horrified and turn against him.

_Superman on an aeroplane  
Sitting next to Lois Lane  
You got that woman but you want her gone  
So you can sleep with a teenage blonde_

Clark screeched the car to a halt in shock: that song hadn't just said what he thought it had, had it? It couldn't have done. His heart racing he began listening for the next line.

_You wear a mask wear an armoured suit  
Can't get to you with the gun I shoot  
You play your cards close to your chest because ya  
Poker face is a dreary mess_

OK, he thought, that was better; He certainly didn't wear a mask or an armoured suit. He probably had misheard. Still something inside of him told him to listen on, possibly the same thing that same thing that told him he couldn't admit his secret to Lana. Sitting impatiently as the song rolled on he tapped the steering wheel irritably.

_You don't know what it's been like  
Meeting someone like you  
You don't know what it's been like  
Meeting someone like you_

You don't know what it's been like  
Meeting someone like you  
You don't know what it's been like  
Meeting someone like you  
Meeting someone like you  
Meeting someone like you  
Meeting someone like you  
Meeting someone like you  
Meeting someone like you  
Meeting someone like ah ah ah aah  
Ooh

That was much better; his heart rate was slowing again. Thinking about starting the car again he decided he had better listen to the end of the song.

_Superman on an aeroplane  
Sitting next to Lois Lane  
You got that woman but you want her gone  
So you can fk a teenage blonde_

Oh god, there it was! This song was about him and Lois Lane: it was freaky! How did they know so much about his life? He paused a moment thinking about what the lyrics said. 'Superman on an aeroplane': nothing much there, they know someone has super human abilities. Just because they were using the nickname Chloe had given him, didn't necessarily mean that much. 'Sitting next to Lois Lane.' That was the line that got him: somehow this band knew that someone with superpowers, presumably him, knew Lois lane.

'You got that woman but you want her gone.' Was that implying that he was an item with Lois? That was definitely wrong.

Then there was something about sleeping with a teenage blonde. That wasn't right either: he'd never been attracted to blondes. Still, despite its inaccuracies there was something very worrying about this song. He needed to talk to his parents about it, and Chloe.

Driving off once more, he contemplated the implications of this song and how on earth the band knew who Lois Lane was.

Arriving home he found his parents in the kitchen where his mother was preparing a delicious, but undoubtedly cholesterol filled meal for the family.

"Mom," he said worried, "dad! I… well… something very strange happened on the way over here."

"Strange?" joked his father, "in Smallville? How unusual."

"No I mean, really strange. I was driving across here and this song came on the radio. It was about me… me and Lois and the band, they knew I had superpowers?"

"A song?" asked his mother disbelievingly, "are you sure it was about you? What did it say?"

Clark paused, "Superman on an aeroplane, sitting next to Lois Lane…"

"Superman?" asked his father, "that's a bit arrogant isn't it?"

"I… its what Chloe's jokingly been calling me."

"Ah…on an aeroplane?"

"I know it doesn't make much sense but, it was definitely about me, " he paused again, "and Lois for some reason."

"Well if you're sure," agreed his mother, "we should try and find out as much as possible about where it came from. Do you know what song it is? Or who by?"

Clark shook his head, " I was as little busy being overwhelmed by it."  
His father nodded, "I don't really see what we can do until we know that. We don't want to go around asking people if they know the name of the song about my son being an alien."

"I bet Chloe could find out," said Clark, "I think I'll run back up to see her."

The run, though short, was quite calming for Clark. He liked to feel the air rushing across him: helping him see things more clearly. As he arrived outside the room she shared with Lana he knocked on the door, hoping that it would only be Chloe who was in. If Lana were there she would think he was visiting her and want to know what it was that only Chloe could help him with. Knocking on the door, he frowned: if Chloe couldn't help him he could very likely end up in a lab and all because of a Song.

A wave of relief swept over him when Chloe opened the door.

"Hey Chloe, is Lana here?" he asked

"No, but she'll be back soon she just…"

"Good," he replied quickly, "I need your help with something."

He proceeded to explain the whole situation to her.

"Wow," commented Chloe "that's just bizarre."

"I know."

"It shouldn't be difficult to find out about the song though: we'll just put the lyrics into Google and see what it comes up with, what was it again?"

"Superman on an Aeroplane, sitting next to Lois Lane…" Clark began to recite as Chloe typed."

"That should do," interrupted Chloe, "Let me just hit enter and see what it comes up with. Ah ha."

"Ah ha?" asked Clark, "there's no way that song was by Ah ha."

"No, Ah ha as in I found it. It's called, believe it or not, Superman and it's by the Stereophonics."

"Thanks Chloe," he said, "What can we find out about them?"

"Well," said typing again, "They're a Welsh Band formed in 1992, original called Tragic Love Company: lead singer Kelly Jones and, ah! They're playing a gig in Metropolis today!At the Metropolis Entertainment arena."

She felt a whoosh behind her as he dissapeared. 'That,' thought the would be reporter, 'is really getting on my nerves.'

A Few moments later Clark whooshed his way through the corridoors of the Metropolis Eneterainment Arena, too fast for any camera to catch, stopping when he found a door with a star on it labeled 'The Stereophonics.' Pushing his way in, he found the room empty but of three people eating some sandwiches.

"Who are you?" demanded one of them.

"Erm, are you the Stereophonics?" replied Clark

"Yes."

"Which one of you is responsible for the lyrics to the song Superman?" he demanded.

"Who are you?" asked one of them again.

"I'm Clark Kent," he answered.

"Oh," came the realisation of the three men.

"So it is about me?" he asked

"Of course it is," replied one of the Stereophonics, "how many other people do you know called Superman. Well it's about you in the future."

"Me in the future?" asked Clark confused, "how do you know about my future."

"well," continued the one that Clark suspected was Kelly Jones, "We're Welsh and everyone knows that Welsh is a magical country where the unusual happens all the time."

"yes," agreed another member of the band.

"Last year we were performing a gig in Swansea, we were sucked into a magical vortex which showed us allt he important events of the past and future, much of which feature heavily on you.."

"Me?" asked Clark a little bemused.

" Yes, although we can't tell you how because that might seriously effect the future."

"So why did you write the song? And why is it just about me and Lois on an Aeroplane? And why do You think I want to sleep with a teenage blonde?"

"Well the Aeroplane was supposed to be an ironic representation of you ability to fly. As for the blonde thing, we just made that up because it sounded good. For all we saw you were totaslly devoted to Lois?"

"Me and Lois?" he asked incredulously.

"Yes," replied Kelly simply, "oh and don't worry no one will understand this song for a few years and then they'll just puzzle at her insight, and probably criticise us for that line about the teenage blonde."

"Oh Ok then. Just, erm, don't tell anyone about my being an alien and we'll be Ok. Bye then."

"Bye."

With that Clark sped out again and back to Chloe's.

"Well?" she asked as he arrived

"It was about me, they seem to think I'm going to end up with Lois, which was strange, but thye seemed to have a plausible explanation and they promised not tell anyone I'm an alien."

"A plausible explanation?"

"Yes, they claimed they'd been sucked into a magical vortex whilst in Swansea and seen the future."

"oh," sighed Chloe, "You know something Clark, only in our lives could that be classed as a plausible explanation."

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Lois Lane was driving to visit her cousin when a song that came on the radio cause her to nearly crash.

_Well, i don't think i can handle this  
A cloudy day in metropolis  
I think i'll talk to my analyst  
I got it so bad for this little journalist  
It drives me up the wall and through the roof  
Lois and clark in a telephone booth  
I think i'm going out of my brain  
I got it so bad for little miss lois lane_

Stopping the car and reaching for her mobile she clled Chloe, telling her to put on her radio because there was a song about her and Clark on it.

Surprised when Chloe asked seriously if it was a song called 'Superman' by the Stereophonics.

"No!" she yelled back, "it's called 'Jimmy Olsen's blues' and its by 'Spin doctors.'It's wierd! Listen" She held her phone to the radio so Chloe could listen.

_Lois lane please put me in your plan  
Yeah, lois lane you don't need no super man  
Come on downtown and stay with me tonight_

I got a pocket full of kryptonite

He's leaping buildings in a single bound  
I'm reading Shakespeare at my place downtown  
Come on downtown and make love to me  
I'm jimmy Olsen not a titan, you see  
He's faster than a bullet, stronger than a train  
He's the one who got lucky got his cape around miss lois lane  
I can't believe my dilemma is real  
I'm competing with the man of steel

"Did you hear that! I think it's saying that Clark has superpowers and a cape… and me? What the hell?"

A second later she heard a yell from the other end of the phone that went, "CLARK! I think we have bigger problems than the Stereophonics."

**THE END**


End file.
